Deep Secrets

Thirty-six years

I’ve carried the secret with me

tucked between heartbreaks

and sunshine.

It has sped down distant highways,

leaped dark ocean waves,

and hiked foreign mountain tops,

clinging resiliently

to my heart’s unhinged door.

Stashed so deeply

I forget it’s there.

Babies birthed.

Daddy died.

Matrimony

attempted. I tried.

Sun rises

on time each day

while sunsets

make the pain go away.

I forget

until a smirk on a stranger’s face

sends tingles to my toes,

until I ache to share

a breath-stealing description

found nestled between yellowed pages.

I forget.

Successfully securing

beneath smiles and congratulations,

beneath friendship and hard places

– the depths of the sea

buried within me.

Stephie De los Santos

10/03/2018